When I got married 18 years ago the days, hours & minutes leading up to the big event were filled with worry, wonder & whisky!  How are all the out of state guests staying? Will the cake be on time, will the best man pass out at the ceremony, heck…would I pass out during the ceremony! 

On Friday I got a glimpse of perhaps a wave of the future! Greg Bloom & wife to be Sarah decided to treat their wedding guests to an eco-tour of Clam Bayou. As with all the eco-tours these days a garbage bag in the kayak is as common as a PDF safety jacket.

Greg’s intentions were to have the tour be FREE of charge in exchange for 1 full bag of trash and of course with the help of South West Water Management District I agreed. From as far away as northern Illinois and Ohio they came…some a little slower than others due to last night’s dinner party. While picking partners for the double kayaks they picked on each other like every American family does, all in good taste! And speaking of taste… Twizzlers for breakfast anyone?   

Shortly into the trip a St Pete resident, formerly of Illinois decided to give a quick lesson on how to take ”the plunge”!  Stay committed to your path and don’t lose your balance or…  over you go!  Did I mention cell phones don’t like salt water? 

Heading into the upper creeks of the bayou a party glove (condom) in pink discovered and was used to spark a conversation toward the wedding couple on proper protection and  a few other “creative” comments and suggestions. Some of which I’m not sure existed when I got married! 

The “big guys” in the double kayak worked busily to fill their bags,not shy about what to grab or why, it was apparent they knew the value of a clean eco-system. I’d be willing to guess that they (like me) are lifelong outdoorsman and in my opinion the best trashers. 

A dodge through the tunnels to see the crabs, a brief talk on storm water run off and a few suggestions from the North on recycling, use of cloth bags and the possibility  of  cooking oil cars. Senior Voice of Florida donated 4 box seat tickets to the Rays game for the trasher who brought back the oddest item…I’d say the roller blade trasher wins! 

Our gracious hosts - the cow nose rays and massive schools of finger mullet and pelicans  ushered us into the south pass where I offered  my marriage advise to the newlyweds – “Why do the Terns travel in pairs?  Because everyone knows that one good Tern deserves another!” 

Ladies and gentleman of the Green Machine I’m proud to introduce you Mr. & Mrs. Greg Bloom & the wedding trashers!